That moment when they call your name... or try to because they jumble it up somehow, is pretty surreal. You sit there thinking, 'Nah, I won't win, because look at the other women nominated', and then they say - 'Agam Darshi'. And it takes a moment to register. And you have to see it in print on the screen before you realize, 'Oh shit, that's me'. And then you walk up to the stage, hoping you won't fall, not knowing what to say, and then suddenly you're faced with a room full people looking at you, and you wonder if you're tit is peaking out of your dress, and you ramble off names, and try to put words to the emotions you feel, and you try to add a joke or two, but really you're just trying to hold it together, and then you walk off stage, with people congratulating you and you think to yourself, 'shit I forgot to thank the creators of the show', but at this point it's too late, and then someone quickly ushers you off to take a photo or two, and you're still wondering if your tit is falling out of your dress because everyone is still looking, and then eventually the fury passes and at the end of the night you're walking back to your car that you parked 5 blocks away because the lot was cheap, and you look over at the beautifully lit art gallery across the street and you're reminded of so many years ago when you sat on those very steps and looked around at this big city and thought to yourself, 'How? How will I ever make anything of myself in a this big city?' And now, all these years later you realize the city, still as beautiful as ever seems so very small, and smile finds it's way on your face, and sigh travels it's way out of you, and you carry on walking.