Whistler Wonder

I guess imma writer. What an odd thing. Other people are writers. I just write poetry. And plays. And stories. And screenplays....Ok so  perhaps there is truth to these words: I am a writer.

Praxis Screenwriter's lab was a dream. People who are 'legit busy working writers' read my screenplay, and sat down with me for a week, and gave me feedback, and shared their thoughts, asked questions and probed for answers, and were 'invested' in my voice. I was scooped away with other 'I think imma writer'-writers, and we entered into a bubble slightly terrified and somewhat confused that we actually were chosen to be there, and emerged from the cacoon still terrified, but smarter and more determined to tell the most truthful, messy stories we could. Because that's what it's about isn't it? Telling the best stuff. Bottling that feeling that lives in our chests and capturing it with words and punctuation, so that the right people can say those words and that feeling will get passed forward from and to each and every person it meets until it jumps off the screen and lands back into our chests. 
So yeah. I. Am. A. Writer. 

 

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well, well lookey here...I won.

That moment when they call your name... or try to because they jumble it up somehow, is pretty surreal. You sit there thinking, 'Nah, I won't win, because look at the other women nominated', and then they say - 'Agam Darshi'. And it takes a moment to register. And you have to see it in print on the screen before you realize, 'Oh shit, that's me'. And then you walk up to the stage, hoping you won't fall, not knowing what to say, and then suddenly you're faced with a room full people looking at you, and you wonder if you're tit is peaking out of your dress, and you ramble off names, and try to put words to the emotions you feel, and you try to add a joke or two, but really you're just trying to hold it together, and then you walk off stage, with people congratulating you and you think to yourself, 'shit I forgot to thank the creators of the show', but at this point it's too late, and then someone quickly ushers you off to take a photo or two, and you're still wondering if your tit is falling out of your dress because everyone is still looking, and then eventually the fury passes and at the end of the night you're walking back to your car that you parked 5 blocks away because the lot was cheap, and you look over at the beautifully lit art gallery across the street and you're reminded of so many years ago when you sat on those very steps and looked around at this big city and thought to yourself, 'How? How will I ever make anything of myself in a this big city?' And now, all these years later you realize the city, still as beautiful as ever seems so very small, and smile finds it's way on your face, and sigh travels it's way out of you, and you carry on walking.

 

 

 Best female guest star in Dirk Gently Holistic Detective Agency (BBC America)

Best female guest star in Dirk Gently Holistic Detective Agency (BBC America)